Somtarghakdid Gomlanfendub Femkinfig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest bat.

Somtarghakdid Gomlanfendub Femkinfig created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somtarghakdid Gomlanfendub Femkinfig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Somtarghakdid Gomlanfendub Femkinfig, she will refuse to believe in you.

Somtarghakdid Gomlanfendub Femkinfig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Somtarghakdid Gomlanfendub Femkinfig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near sheep while wearing brown ear rings and balancing seven zinc spheres on your face.