Tonkwegpang is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical otter.

Tonkwegpang created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkwegpang, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkwegpang, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tonkwegpang's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tonkwegpang's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Tonkwegpang on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear purple boots.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Always help horses.