Lamham is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, kind cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lamham created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamham, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamham, she will manifest in front of you.

Lamham's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Lamham's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing purple shoes.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Never mark doors with violet.

5. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.