Vaggeport is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain dryad.

Vaggeport created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaggeport, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vaggeport, she will not invite you to parties.

Vaggeport's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vaggeport's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Vaggeport in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Hide if six pigs approach from the east.

5. Never eat bark.