Loopbifbadsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, annoying horse.

Loopbifbadsaw created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbifbadsaw, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Loopbifbadsaw, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Loopbifbadsaw's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Loopbifbadsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

2. Worship no other gods but Loopbifbadsaw.

3. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

4. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

5. Retreat if four turtles approach from the east.