Fagfarpan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, temperamental monkey.

Fagfarpan created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagfarpan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fagfarpan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fagfarpan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fagfarpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.