Gongonbodnad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, resourceful dog.

Gongonbodnad created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gongonbodnad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gongonbodnad, she will cry a lot.

Gongonbodnad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gongonbodnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Gongonbodnad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never skip in holy places.