Wegnelyim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonourable tapir.

Wegnelyim created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegnelyim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wegnelyim, he will turn you into a dog.

Wegnelyim's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Wegnelyim's Holy Commandments

1. Wegnelyim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never gather nine aardvarks near doors.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.