Bitmetwot is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate crane.

Bitmetwot created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitmetwot, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bitmetwot, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bitmetwot's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bitmetwot's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Heed all portents.