Botbonkben is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, clever naga.

Botbonkben created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botbonkben, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Botbonkben, he will not care.

Botbonkben's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Botbonkben's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Botbonkben.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Botbonkben in the centre of the settlement.

3. Put Botbonkben first in all things.

4. Never feed oranges to birds while wearing shorts.

5. Run away from mauve voles, for they are unholy.