Nanfarken is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring crow.

Nanfarken created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanfarken, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nanfarken, he will not care at all.

Nanfarken's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nanfarken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near goats while wearing violet corsets and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.

4. Worship no other gods but Nanfarken.

5. Always share melons with strangers, but never with tapirs.