Bidcarpang Fobsandlik is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, generous shark.

Bidcarpang Fobsandlik created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Bidcarpang Fobsandlik, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bidcarpang Fobsandlik, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bidcarpang Fobsandlik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bidcarpang Fobsandlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing violet shorts.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Bidcarpang Fobsandlik in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Always pray immersed in water.