Nurlgeppak is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, irritating unicorn.

Nurlgeppak created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlgeppak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurlgeppak, she will refuse to believe in you.

Nurlgeppak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nurlgeppak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat spinach.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Nurlgeppak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never handle tin while unclean.

5. Do not shave your head.