Pinbogneg Pascutfarn Niltalgem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tranquil dog.

Pinbogneg Pascutfarn Niltalgem created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinbogneg Pascutfarn Niltalgem, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pinbogneg Pascutfarn Niltalgem, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Pinbogneg Pascutfarn Niltalgem's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Pinbogneg Pascutfarn Niltalgem's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about dark energy near sharks while wearing cyan hats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Run away if five capybaras approach from the north.

4. Never feed beans to shrews while wearing stockings.

5. Do not chop down trees.