Pidkanveg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy wombat.

Pidkanveg created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pidkanveg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pidkanveg, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pidkanveg's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Pidkanveg's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snails.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.