Hogdamquagbus is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy goblin.

Hogdamquagbus created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogdamquagbus, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hogdamquagbus, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hogdamquagbus' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hogdamquagbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never run in the presence of capybaras.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Always pray immersed in water.