Wotcabdapappan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witty squid.

Wotcabdapappan created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotcabdapappan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wotcabdapappan, he will laugh at you.

Wotcabdapappan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Wotcabdapappan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Hide from green great tits for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Wotcabdapappan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about fire.