Baflatlakfubbonkgenlabnan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart lion.

Baflatlakfubbonkgenlabnan created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baflatlakfubbonkgenlabnan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Baflatlakfubbonkgenlabnan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Baflatlakfubbonkgenlabnan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Baflatlakfubbonkgenlabnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.