Tippanditsadfettargbentip is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, tiresome squirrel.

Tippanditsadfettargbentip created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tippanditsadfettargbentip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tippanditsadfettargbentip, he will be very sad.

Tippanditsadfettargbentip's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tippanditsadfettargbentip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ducks.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.