Toncubpig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, charitable bat.

Toncubpig created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toncubpig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Toncubpig, it will turn you into a tree.

Toncubpig's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Toncubpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.