Vonkquagrut is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, deceitful grasshopper.

Vonkquagrut created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkquagrut, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonkquagrut, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vonkquagrut's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Vonkquagrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near seals while wearing mauve kilts.

2. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Do not take Vonkquagrut's name in vain.