Lagdudbast is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous snail.

Lagdudbast created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagdudbast, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lagdudbast, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Lagdudbast's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lagdudbast's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagdudbast.

3. Always help sick capybaras.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never hurt birds.