Bassdutsan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive capybara.

Bassdutsan created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Bassdutsan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bassdutsan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bassdutsan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bassdutsan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

5. Never feed rice to horses while wearing corsets.