Kimbassfig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, weak whale.

Kimbassfig created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimbassfig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kimbassfig, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kimbassfig's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Kimbassfig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Kimbassfig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Kimbassfig on top of all buildings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Fast once a month.