Volfabstan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, astonishing naga.

Volfabstan created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volfabstan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Volfabstan, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Volfabstan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Volfabstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never mark doors with orange.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

5. Never cross forests at dawn.