Hugrowtonktaplatdon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud narwhal.

Hugrowtonktaplatdon created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugrowtonktaplatdon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hugrowtonktaplatdon, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hugrowtonktaplatdon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hugrowtonktaplatdon's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hugrowtonktaplatdon.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Hugrowtonktaplatdon on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.