Tonfiglignur is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, egotistical badger.

Tonfiglignur created the Sunflower Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonfiglignur, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonfiglignur, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tonfiglignur's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tonfiglignur's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tonfiglignur first in all things.

2. You must love Tonfiglignur.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about dark energy.