Nibbatnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered monkey.

Nibbatnarl created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nibbatnarl, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nibbatnarl, it will not care.

Nibbatnarl's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nibbatnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away if three manatees approach from the south.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.