App is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing lion.

App created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in App, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in App, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

App's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

App's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Retreat if six frogs approach from the north.

5. Never think about spacetime.