Hadflyjad Pakrapmad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, contented dryad.

Hadflyjad Pakrapmad created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadflyjad Pakrapmad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hadflyjad Pakrapmad, she will refuse to believe in you.

Hadflyjad Pakrapmad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Hadflyjad Pakrapmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing indigo coats and balancing three copper spheres on your face.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hadflyjad Pakrapmad.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

5. Never hurt whales.