Kabmotdim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witless troll.

Kabmotdim created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabmotdim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kabmotdim, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kabmotdim's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kabmotdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your neck cyan.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never record secrets.