Vollabsanhab Cidflisaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak crane.

Vollabsanhab Cidflisaf created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vollabsanhab Cidflisaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vollabsanhab Cidflisaf, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vollabsanhab Cidflisaf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vollabsanhab Cidflisaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bread.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near snails while wearing black corsets and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.