Cad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, overgenerous swallow.

Cad created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cad, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cad's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Cad on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cad.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Do not kill birds.

5. Never sing near horses.