Satsagflam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, able hamster.

Satsagflam created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satsagflam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satsagflam, it will turn you into a goat.

Satsagflam's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Satsagflam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Satsagflam.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.