Yarlbogmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish tortoise.

Yarlbogmeg created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbogmeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarlbogmeg, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yarlbogmeg's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Yarlbogmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never feed oranges to seals while wearing black rings.