Sat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying giraffe.

Sat created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sat, he will turn you into a snail.

Sat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Sat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not take Sat's name in vain.

4. Sat loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Always wear turquoise.