Latcemgamtitcipvandad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, quiet lobster.

Latcemgamtitcipvandad created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latcemgamtitcipvandad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Latcemgamtitcipvandad, he will make you grow a tail.

Latcemgamtitcipvandad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Latcemgamtitcipvandad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four bats approach from the north.

2. Never gather five manatees near doors.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing purple rings.

4. Never paint your arms brown.

5. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.