Talkikpas is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic pig.

Talkikpas created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talkikpas, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Talkikpas, it will be mildly annoyed.

Talkikpas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Talkikpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Do not kill birds.

5. Do not speak about garlic.