Sistablap Millistwip is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid slug.

Sistablap Millistwip created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Sistablap Millistwip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sistablap Millistwip, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sistablap Millistwip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sistablap Millistwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near turtles while wearing magenta shirts and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away if three gulls approach from the east.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Sistablap Millistwip loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.