Poncaptail is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, effective porpoise.

Poncaptail created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Poncaptail, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Poncaptail, it will jump up and down on your head.

Poncaptail's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Poncaptail's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help eagles.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.