Kinbellog Begcidbell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unjust hyena.

Kinbellog Begcidbell created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinbellog Begcidbell, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kinbellog Begcidbell, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kinbellog Begcidbell's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kinbellog Begcidbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near sheep.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think ill of sick mice.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.