Konlagrap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous raccoon.

Konlagrap created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Konlagrap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Konlagrap, she will manifest in front of you.

Konlagrap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Konlagrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt whales.

2. Never chant near frogs.

3. Never feed lemons to great tits while wearing shirts.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. You must pray to Konlagrap three times a day.