Lamgenkan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless hedgehog.

Lamgenkan created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgenkan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamgenkan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lamgenkan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Lamgenkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing purple kilts and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

5. Never whisper while facing south.