Quamrill is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witty bee.

Quamrill created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamrill, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quamrill, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quamrill's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Quamrill's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never touch blood while blessed.

3. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

4. Always store garlic above ground.

5. Never eat green fruit.