Futfligtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, all-powerful whale.

Futfligtonk created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futfligtonk, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Futfligtonk, she will be very sad.

Futfligtonk's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Futfligtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Futfligtonk.

2. Do not take Futfligtonk's name in vain.

3. Erect four lead sculptures of Futfligtonk on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.