Dissyattun Laksatsag is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, narcissistic sheep.

Dissyattun Laksatsag created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissyattun Laksatsag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dissyattun Laksatsag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dissyattun Laksatsag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dissyattun Laksatsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never feed pineapples to foxes while wearing green dresses.

3. Always help sick goats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not keep nine porpoises in a large pit.