Govyartkam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional duck.

Govyartkam created the Sunflower Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Govyartkam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Govyartkam, he will turn you into a mole.

Govyartkam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Govyartkam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Govyartkam.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Do not hurt capybaras.