Jatciss Stigtiftim is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, amazing shark.

Jatciss Stigtiftim created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatciss Stigtiftim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jatciss Stigtiftim, it will turn you into a goat.

Jatciss Stigtiftim's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jatciss Stigtiftim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Never talk about black holes.