Gabquagzod is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional toad.

Gabquagzod created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gabquagzod, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gabquagzod, he will turn you into a worm.

Gabquagzod's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gabquagzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mice while wearing white corsets and balancing four aluminium spheres on your hands.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Gabquagzod must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

5. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.