Bonlitvon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, cheerful capybara.

Bonlitvon created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonlitvon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bonlitvon, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bonlitvon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bonlitvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near goats while wearing green skirts.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near shrews while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing three iron spheres on your arms.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.