Metyodstan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental clam.

Metyodstan created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Metyodstan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Metyodstan, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Metyodstan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Metyodstan's Holy Commandments

1. Metyodstan loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Hide from turquoise birds for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always obey Metyodstan's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.