Lunrigjig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, clever snail.

Lunrigjig created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunrigjig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lunrigjig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lunrigjig's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lunrigjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Never wear brown boots.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not cook food in pots.