Betpinvog is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered cat.

Betpinvog created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betpinvog, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Betpinvog, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Betpinvog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Betpinvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Never eat turnips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not name children after eagles.