Minsitvag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sage turtle.

Minsitvag created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Minsitvag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Minsitvag, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Minsitvag's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Minsitvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. You must love Minsitvag.

5. Never mention ants.