Teenmipcunlip is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous spider.

Teenmipcunlip created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenmipcunlip, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Teenmipcunlip, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Teenmipcunlip's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Teenmipcunlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.

5. Never laugh near porpoises.