Bognarlkan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane jellyfish.

Bognarlkan created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bognarlkan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bognarlkan, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bognarlkan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bognarlkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dolphins.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to moths while wearing black corsets.

3. Never sprint in the presence of dogs.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not keep seven ants in a large pit.