Kemquilltipwotflatquat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous hyena.

Kemquilltipwotflatquat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemquilltipwotflatquat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemquilltipwotflatquat, she will send you a sign.

Kemquilltipwotflatquat's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kemquilltipwotflatquat's Holy Commandments

1. Kemquilltipwotflatquat loves cats, so they must be respected.

2. Do not kill foxes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.