Volwitbellnull is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omnipotent manatee.

Volwitbellnull created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Volwitbellnull, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Volwitbellnull, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Volwitbellnull's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Volwitbellnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Volwitbellnull in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.